Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Progressive Information Technology BUsinesses Lack Livid Spouses

My dear husband is "somewhere in France" for a company retreat. I’ve been given the telephone number of a hotel in France and a URL with a disgustingly Flash heavy site. (Please note: my son and I have been home for a total of 3 days after a major surgery which involved me flying alone with the child from London, England to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.) Which means - God knows where he is...because I don’t have the bandwidth to find out.

Anyway, my dear husband called to let me know that he had landed safely. This is great! I love him very much. I enjoy all of his pieces when combined in the proper, animated and God-given arrangement on his body. And he deserves to be happy, healthy and in one piece.

He also called to let me know that he had been stopped and searched under suspicion of being a drug runner.

At this, quite frankly, I laughed. Maybe it’s not the best response. But, then again, I’m feeling very focused on my own needs at the moment. I'm trying to frame this in a positive manner.

After all, the company is forking out money so his team can mountain climb, canoe, and do cool orienteering stuff in France. It will certainly build necessary morale. Whose morale, I’m questioning. And not just myself - I am taking into account the needs of others.

For example - I wonder about the morale of employees whose wives just can't board the nookie train because they've got all of the other issues spinning on their plates while they tap dance? Perhaps, an evaluation of the morale of husband-employees with wives who just want to read their book even after the husband walks in and wants to talk after a long, late day. Should I even discuss the daily veggie burger diet of employee’s wives who are just too damn tired to cook? And I ask myself, is this complaining?

No, I believe myself to be observing. I observe that P.I.T.BU. L.L.S. - companies such as Google - cater breakfast, lunch and dinner. I observe that P.I.T.BU. L.L.S. pay their employees a fair and liveable wage. I observe that P.I.T.BU. L.L.S. provide private health, dental and medical insurance for families and employees. I observe that P.I.T.BU. L.L.S. ask for a ton of work - but does not buy - ooops - fly employees off for orienteering weeks to build morale. They recognise that morale is a complex and highly individual issue.

I observe that morale is best served in meeting the day-to-day needs of employees and their families. Morale is built when an employee is secure that his/her family's needs are being met, addressed and provided for.

Still, I wonder if I’m kvetching just a bit. After all, the reality of embracing this is far too uncomfortable. Like - why do I have an easier time of it when I’m on my own with the boy? Why would I want a corporation to provide 3 healthy meals a day to my husband? Why would I want the disposable income to fly off and explore on my own when he has to work late and meet deadlines? Aren’t these precious days about affirming that ephemeral spirit body we call our family? Why are we co-sleeping, home educating, investing in this intellectual, spiritual, emotional body we name family?

And perhaps - I have my own answer. When it is just the boy and me - we have no expectations. So - we have no preconceived ideas about needs or wants that go unfulfilled. We are free and unencumbered. And is that a family?

(Whole other blog there.)

And in asking the questions - I have found an answer. We must all agree on what it means to be a family. And then we must find P.I.T.BU.L.L.S. to protect us.

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