Saturday, March 21, 2015
The Confounded Clergy | The Coma Chronicles
I received a phone call that my daughter had been found in a coma. So, I went. The hospital was clearly designed by a student of Escher. I had gone up, down and sideways trying to find my daughter. So, I stopped a White man and White woman wearing badges.
Me: Could you direct me to the Intensive Care Unit?
They blinked at me. Mouths performing a variation on slack jawed befuddlement. The man snapped out of it.
Man: Oh. The ICU. It’s straight down the hall to the left.
Me: Thank you.
Halfway down the hall, the woman comes puffing up behind me. And I understand clearly why they were so clearly dumbfounded by me.
Woman: I didn’t answer you at first because it took me a minute to understand what you were talking about. The way you said it. In t e n siv e. Care U nit. (repeat) I’ve never heard anything like it before.
Me: (smile and continue walking) Well, I’m glad we figured it out.
Woman: What brings you to the ICU?
Me: My daughter found her way here.
Woman: Oh, so you are meeting her? Who are you visiting?
Me: (stops in my tracks and turns) I am visiting her. (continues walking.)
Woman: Oh. Oh! I’m so sorry. (scurries after me)
Me: Thank you.
Woman: Oh. Oh. I’m okay to talk to. I’m with the Chaplain’s office.
(flashes her badge. as if.
makes any difference.
Woman: Oh, I just love the way you say things! What brought her in?
Me: Most likely a car. And as I understand it, a man.
We reach the In t e n siv e. Care U nit. She flashes her badge. It opens the door.
Woman: Well, God bless!
Me: (smile and nod.)
I see my daughter. As I’m leaving, the Woman catches up to me picking my way up, down and sideways through the maze which is this hospital.
Woman: How is your daughter?
Me: She is in a coma.
Woman: Oh dear. You must be beside yourself! Oh, how awful! Do you know why she is in a coma?
Woman: Oh. Dear. How tragic. What kind of events?
Woman: Do you think you’ll recover? If it’s all right with you, I’ll pray for her.
Me: Prayer is always a good thing.
Woman: Are you Christian?
Woman: Oh. Okay, good. I have to ask. Because I wouldn’t want to offend anyone. I’m Christian. But, not everybody is Christian.
Me: That is the truth.
Woman: Oh, I feel so bad for you. You are such a powerful woman. I can feel the faith radiating off of you. Everything is going to be all right.
Me: Well, I try not to get worried. I try not to turn onto problems that upset me. But. Oh. Everything’s all right, yes, everything’s fine. If we try, we’ll get by.
Woman: Oh. You are amazing. Okay, well, if it’s all right for you. I’ll pray for her. I can go in her room and pray for her. I’ll just let them know that you said it was okay.
Me: It will be more than okay. If she ever needed a Come To Jesus Moment, it is right now.
Me: (unspoken) Knowing her, all that Jesus up in her face is sure to scare the Devil right out of her. & I wondered. Will this Confounded Clergy Woman ever get any of this later?