Mom-Fu #4

Mom-Fu #4 “The Yes Position - Variation 1”

Mastery of “The Yes Position” virtually guarantees automatic success with “The No Position.” While this position is virtually indispensable in ever aspect of life, in this instance, it is applied towards children.

“The Yes Position” is one of the hardest Mom-Fu stances to master. Some may need a therapist to fully achieve it. Others can follow the simple tutorial below. Ability to meter “The Yes Position” is not a judgmental statement about ability.

It is a statement of fact which insists upon four premises. 1. Everyone has lived a life ~ good or bad. 2. Everyone’s personal journey includes: obstacles, defeats, triumphs, regrets, hum-drummery and abject nihilistic boredom. 3. Everyone can create action statements for themselves which assume “achievement,” yet, allows for “failure.” 4. Everyone is an awesome writer. At anytime a personal life story re-write is possible. Success can be revised as failure and failure revised as success.

The most frequent use of “The Yes Position” is when you are interrupted. Maybe you are cooking dinner and you dear beloved child(ren) come into the kitchen to ask a question. Maybe it is Saturday morning at 6:00, and you are being awakened by a happy, happy child who is delighted that the sun rose yet again. Perhaps, it is the middle of the night. Your bedroom lights are flicked unmercifully on, and your beloved child is here to share the details of their nightmare with you.

“The Yes Position” assumes that you made a whole human body out of your own and therefore, must nurture it. It is also effective with humans that you did not make, but with whom you wish to achieve a passing pleasantry.

This position affirms delight and attentiveness. It is also helpful to have a number of pet names. Honey, Sweetie and dear are wonderful casual words. My favorite with personal progeny is “My Love.”

Instructions: “The Yes Position - Variation 1 - Seated”

Upon the first utterance of “Mom.”

1. From the “The Neutral Face” position, allow a warm radiant smile to begin in the chin. The muscles drift upwards toward the crown chakra

2. Allow the lips, cheeks, eyes, and eyebrows to sweep upwards.

3. As the rising upward motion hits the cheek. The head slightly tilts to one side. The neck allows the chin to drop approximately 5 degrees. (Right or left is irrelevant. What feels good in your body is what is important.)

3. As this facial musculature action occurs, the spine should agree with it. The spine straightens.

4. The shoulder moves in relaxed opposition.

4A. It is assumed you are “doing something”. If you are. Stop. Facebooking? Lower your screen to 45 degrees. Cooking? Put the spoon down. Reading a book? Gently set it to the side.

5.Fold your hands as if in prayer.

6. Answer, “Yes, my love.”

7. Make eye contact.

8. Maintain the joyous smile. (Whatever visualization you use to maintain the joyous smile is irrelevant. Killing zombies? Good. The last great orgasm? Even better, it feed the positive energy of the smile better. Finding the perfect dress? Okay. The first time you held this creature in your arms? Bang! Pop! Sizzle!

9. Acceptance or denial of the action requested. Example: Child: "I can't sleep. I had a terrible nightmare. Mom: Lay next to me and close your eyes, we will change that nightmare by dreaming together." OR Child: "I'm hungry." Mom: "Well, then it sounds like it's time to make lunch." Alternate: "You just had lunch. You might be bored...let's empty the dishwasher!"

This is the basic set up for “The Listening Position,” “The Sigh Position,” and the “I See Why Not, Can You Position.”